![]() Which, you know, is fine, except for the attendant feelings of alienation and loneliness. But last year it was in the new church gym, we didn’t sit with any family, and I guess that was enough to jar me into realizing that the religion I was raised in doesn’t have any meaning for me anymore. The Christmas Eve service used to be make me feel connected to my family and my town and my region - it happens in the church where my dad grew up, after a family reunion with all the cousins on his side in the church kitchen, and we’d always sit with all the cousins in the same part of the balcony that we’d sat every year of my childhood. it’s not so much that my family is religious, but more that I’m sad for how I’ve changed. Thanks for the Jedi hugs, Kadence! I have extra rounds of anxiety because my family’s not awesome at dealing with failure, and while I have some pretty good ideas for what I want to try, all of them come with a pretty high risk that I will crash and burn.Īs for the religion thing. – the only good gift I can think of for my niece (starting a savings account for college) fills me with fear for the future. I used to think of myself as nonpracticing rather than a nonbeliever, but it’s now closer to the second. I was unpleasantly surprised last Christmas during the Christmas Eve service when I realized I didn’t believe in it anymore. – the religious stuff makes my blood run cold. ![]() – my sister-in-law is very “into” the holidays, which to me says “There is nothing you can do that will be good enough for the magical idea in my head.” Maybe it’s just my branch of the family which is incredibly judgmental about how all the other cousins are doing!. – Dreading the rounds of “so what are you doing with your life?” from various relatives. – I am going to spend more money than I want to. – I will be very lucky if I manage gifts for all the people I care about. I’m much more of an “ugh, Christmas” person right now, even though I don’t have anything particularly painful associated with the holidays. Jedi hugs and snapcats (and other floofs) welcome (same handle), and I am happy to reciprocate. It is entirely possible that the trip will be pleasant only because it’s so short (though with no shortage of guilt-tripping for not staying longer), but I am not hopeful. My Friday flight is early enough that I’ll not be roped into that horrible shopping holiday. I’ve no reservations about raiding the family liquor cabinet, and with ice on the ground, I’ll not likely be permitted to drive anyway (native southerner). Team FieryMon knows what’s up and is prepared to triple the volume of Snapcats. I registered for a Turkey Day 5k so I have something enjoyable to look forward to, even if it’s freezing and I can’t actually breathe at altitude. The city has both Lyft and Uber, and I can afford not to rely on family for transportation. This is the first time I’ve made arrangements to stay with “friends” instead of at the family house, and I know I’ll catch no end of shit for it. This is the first time I’ve paid for my own plane ticket, so I’ll only be there for 2 days and 3 nights instead of the usual 9-day Xmas trip that inevitably puts me to tears. Tomorrow night, for the first time since Xmas ’13, I fly out to visit Dad, siblings, and my racist, classist, fat-shaming, poor-shaming, homo-antagonistic, invasively nosy, r*pe apologist, victim-blaming, misogynist, objectifying, Catholic guilt-tripping, Evil Stepmother. Or should I just let it go naturally and handle anything as it comes up? My family and my fiancés family are both genuinely nice sets of people so I am probably over-thinking it because of nerves. Should I prime folks for this? Be like, hey, nan, don’t buy them an expensive gift just get them something small and nice, hey in-laws here is a signal to use if you need a break from grandad, and hey everyone sibling in law is working through some stuff about their gender at the moment so don’t you dare say shit about how they’re dressed or make up or anything. my everyone not being chill about the future sibling-in-law’s gender presentation. ![]() My grandfather (who has dementia) asking insensitive questions about where my fiancés dad is 3. my nan (accidentally) making them feel bad about not having much money 2. Any advice on how to not make it too overwhelming for them? My family is super-welcoming but a little…unusual, and can be overwhelming even if you know them. This will be the first time for them meeting my grandparents and my brother, and they’ve only met my parents one time briefly before. My fiancés family is joining my family on Boxing Day.
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